Posts Tagged ‘Mamahood’
To All the Mothers Out There
Posted on: February 19, 2013
- In: Life
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Two very dear friends are having their first babies this spring. I am so thrilled for both of them. I have no doubt that they will embrace motherhood like the wonderful women that they are. But today, I wondered – “Will motherhood embrace them?”
You see, too often as mothers we can feel like we are competing against each other. We inadvertently {or intentionally for some} measure our children against other women’s children. Who had the longest labor? Who had the biggest baby? Who rolled over first? Who crawled first? Who walked first?
And those are just comparisons in the first year. It seems like the stakes get higher as the children get older.
We mothers use our children as measuring sticks for how well we are doing. “Julia might not be reading independently, but she can make her own lunch. At least she is doing better than Susie Q down the street. See, I’m excelling over Susie Q’s mom as a mother.”
That is an obviously ridiculous thing to think or say. But we do it. Maybe not about Julia’s mad lunch making skills, but about other things. We see what our child can or cannot do, compare it against other children and then against their moms.
And we are damaging a special bond when we compare each other. Motherhood is not a competition, it is a sisterhood. And we moms would do well to remember that. When we compare {for good or bad} our mothering skills against others, we are focusing on the wrong motives. I didn’t teach Julia how to make her own lunch so that I could somehow be a better mom in comparison to someone. I did it because she showed interest and I wanted her to learn. Motherhood is about training and loving your children. It’s about encouraging other moms in the same quest. How they train and love isn’t dictated by you. And how you train and love isn’t dictated by them.
But what is dictated by you is how you help encourage and strengthen your fellow mom. Are you genuine in your advice {and even more importantly, is your advice necessary or wanted}? Are you speaking words of encouragement? Are you standing beside the moms in your life and fighting for them or against them?
If 5+ years of motherhood have taught me anything, it’s that I don’t always know what is best for my own children let alone another person’s children. And that when I tear other moms down, it hurts me just as much as it hurts them. But when I build them up, they build me up. Then we all win.
And if you were to ever ask Julia, she’d tell you everyone likes a win-win.
I Am Who I Am.
Posted on: January 14, 2013
- In: Life
- 12 Comments
Funny how you can find yourself shying away from who you truly are sometimes.
I told all y’all {yes, I did just type all y’all} in September that life was too busy to blog. That was true. But there is more to it than that.
You see, about six months ago I wrote a post that is very dear to me. It caused some outrage and it caused some good discussion. Both of which I am totally ok with. What I didn’t realize {or rather didn’t want to admit to myself} was that with some of the backlash came a shying away. I didn’t want to write for fear of it causing another riot. And while I am not one to back down from my beliefs, I am also not one to keep arguing just to argue.
It felt good to walk away from blogging. To defriend some Facebook “friends”. To take a break. However, I’ve wanted to write again for a few weeks now. Yet, I keep getting gun shy, keep worrying about riots. I went so far as to make an alias blog. But what good is an alias, when what I really want is for people to know me?
Who am I?
I’m a girl who loves spontaneity, but can’t live without structure.
I love my Savior beyond words. But I’m not always great at acting out my Christian faith.
Learning more about Christ brings me to my knees. Knowing how depraved I am without Him makes me need Him even more. The closer I grow to God, the bigger He gets. That might seem terrifying, but it brings me comfort more than anything else.
I talk too much. Yet I don’t always speak up when I should.
I start arguments when I don’t feel accepted and loved.
I’ve fought dirty before. It’s not a good thing.
I married up. I am so happy for that.
I work for two princesses.
Before kids I never knew what it meant to love people so deeply beyond myself.
I do now.
I like beer. Shiner, specifically.
And red wine.
I drink often. But not excessively.
Running is a passion.
Then again, so is eating. Which is why running happens.
I screw up. A lot sometimes.
Other days I’m a freakin’ super hero.
I love music, but frankly don’t care for live music. You can call me weird for that one.
I day dream too much.
I try to act cooler than I really am. Which probably makes me less cool than I really am.
I’m more like a librarian that laughs at her own nonsensical jokes.
I am who I am. Yet I will change. I will mess up. I will offend. I will repair. But, I am staying put. I’m not shying away. This is who I am.
- In: Life
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Our family spent a few days on a ranch just after the New Year. My uncle organized the event, which included my parents, cousins, a couple of extra aunts and uncles and our Nana.
It was a blast. Well, that might be an overstatement – little sleep was had, kids were off schedule, we over ate sugar and sugary drinks, at least one argument happened, and perhaps compromises of parenting skills took place {I’ll meekly raise my hand to that}.
While we were there, I overheard someone mention coffee. Always one to jump at a cup of coffee, I asked if a pot was brewing. My cousins all laughed and one even joked “Every morning I get on facebook, I look to see how many miles Sarah has run and how much coffee she’s had. What’s that? She’s run 16 miles and had 4 cups of coffee.”
We all got a good laugh. And he’s right, if you looked at my facebook updates, they are almost always about running, coffee, or something mildly entertaining {actually, I really hope that people find my updates hilarious}.
Here’s the thing :
My facebook updates aren’t my real life.
Sure, I ran 16 miles. Sure, I drank 4 cups of coffee. Sure, I might have said something witty.
But that’s the Best of Sarah. You don’t see the nitty gritty. You aren’t seeing the failures, the mess ups, the heartaches. After all, that doesn’t make for great social media {in my opinion}. What makes for great social media is triumph. Laughing in the face of obstacles. Victory.
As I’ve spent the last several months quietly sitting back, letting the blogging and social media world get a few steps ahead of me, I’ve realized something – I’m comparing my worse to everyone’s perfect.
I’ve heard people talk about this a lot. How you can’t compare your behind the scenes with other people’s highlight reels. It is so, so true. But I’ve been doing that a lot lately. And I’ve learned something from it.
1. I get really bitter over failing to meet “expectations”.
2. I will never meet “expectations”.
I’ve been threatening for some time to get rid of social media all together. To burn our computer to the ground and toss out my iPhone in an effort to get rid of those “expectations”. But those things aren’t my hang up. My hang up is that I forget the people behind the status updates are real. I forget that they, just like me, are showing their highlight reels. I forget that I’m comparing my worse to everyone’s perfect.
And when I remember that, that the people on my computer are real and fail just like me, I can sit back and enjoy the highlights.
- In: Life
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I’m not even sure where to begin, it feels so long since I have last written.
Life is busy.
Jonathan is working and traveling. A lot. Then toss in his MBA program.
I’ve started an amazing theological/seminary class through our church. It is crazy, and awesome, and totally kicking my butt.
Plus, there’s the whole, training for three major races thing.
Oh, and the kids. Let’s not forget the 3 kids under 5.
I don’t say all this to somehow make my life seem harder, busier, or more stressful than yours.
It’s not really.
In fact, it’s really good. Really crazy and challenging, but good.
I tell you all this, because, life is busy. And because of that I’ve been pretty silent.
Sadly, I don’t see that changing. As much as I love this little blog I’ve created, as much as I love the friendships I’ve made, the lives I’ve touched and the ways I’ve grown through it, something has to give. And for now, blogging is it.
I have realized – I could keep writing, keep cranking out content. But it wouldn’t be from the heart. It wouldn’t be what I really want to say. It wouldn’t be what you really want to read. It would just end up being words on a screen. And I don’t want that.
For a while, I carried some guilt for not writing. Like there was a level of expectation set and I was failing to meet it. But that’s not true. I know that. You know that.
So for now, my sweet, dear, friends, I’m saying good night. I’m going to put Loved Like the Church to sleep for a now. I’m going to focus on this new season our family is heading into. And hopefully, one day not too long from now, I’ll be back, sharing my life with all of you again.
Run Mama, Run
Posted on: September 10, 2012
- In: Life
- 7 Comments
My sweet friend, Katie, sent me a text a few weeks back asking for a post on running with kids – “Like an exact schedule would be great!”. I didn’t tell her at the moment, but I think my current running schedule would make most novice runners cringe.
I have found, that living in Texas, having three kids, morning runs are the only way I can run outside from May-September. Morning runs mean I am up by 5:15 on Tuesdays/Thursdays and by 5:45 on Saturdays. I meet my running buddy{ies} at Town Lake, where we start running by 6 or 6:30. I think every person {and new moms especially} just collectively groaned at that schedule. It’s not easy. And the nights where I am up with Joseph, or the girls, several times, just to have to be up by 5:15, are brutal. But, I do it.
Sarah’s Current Running/Workout Schedule
Monday – Strength Training/Extended Stretching
Tuesday – 6 am run {5 miles}
Wednesday – Cross training/Cross Fit
Thursday – 6 am run {5 miles} followed by Cross Fit
Friday – Rest day
Saturday – 6:30 run {5+ mile long run}
Sunday – Cross training, or, Rest day
Keep in mind, I am actively training for a half marathon and prepping for a marathon {Even I get a little shiver thinking that my running will increase come October}. The mileage, and number of workouts, should not be that high if you’re just beginning.
While this is my current schedule, I’ll admit, there is no way in the world I would have started off with a schedule like that. I love running now, so I don’t mind the commitment. But when I first started running? Yeah, it was like a courtship – I needed running to woo me before I’d love it back.
My suggestion for new mom runners :: Be consistent. Find out what three days a week you can run {morning, afternoon, or evening} and get on a schedule. I find it easiest to run short distances during the week and long distances on the weekend. But maybe that’s not the case for you. Perhaps you have more time on a Tuesday than a Saturday. Plan your schedule accordingly. If you plan to run after your husband gets home from work, I suggest being in your workout clothes before he gets home as added motivation. If you plan to run before the family gets up for the day, I suggest having a running buddy. It’s a lot easier to wake up at 5:30 am when someone is depending on you. Finally, if you plan to run in the afternoon, be mindful of the heat/sun. If you are taking your kids with you, be sure you bring extra water for them as well as yourself.
Mamas need to exercise. It helps us clear our heads, gives us energy, and sets a wonderful example to our children. It’s not always easy to start running, but you will always be thankful that you did it.
Remember — It doesn’t matter when you run or how far you run. It only matters that you run. Choose your three days and stick to them.
*Disclaimer: All tactics/tips are my own personal opinions and not medically backed. Please seek medical advice before starting any running program.
Joseph in sunny San Diego with our friend Billy. We joked all week that Joseph and Billy have the same hair style.
Joseph turns 10 months old today.
10 months.
That means in two months he’ll be 1 year old.
This is going way too fast for me.
The last month has been such a fun time for the little man. On August 11, Joseph took his first steps. He’s now taking three and four steps at a time; making his way between me, one of the girls, Jonathan, Jack and furniture. I can’t get over how mobile he is becoming. Frankly, I now fully see the difference between boys and girls. The girls have always been adventurous {or so I think}, but Joseph is a dare devil. Put him in the middle of complete crazy and he is on cloud nine. Clearly, he was born into the right family. 😉
The girls head back to school tomorrow and I am looking forward to one on one time with Joseph. Though, I’m worried he’s going to find me very boring in comparison to the girls. Maybe I’ll need to build an indoor jungle gym to keep my “coolest mama” status.
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I have some really awesome posts for y’all. But, they are sitting in my queue and will be there for at least another week. Sorry to disappoint. We are leaving tomorrow for vacation to San Diego. It will be a lovely, lovely time {if only because of the weather}. But, the getting ready part? Not so lovely.
Jonathan got word Tuesday afternoon that he needed to leave the next day for a 2-day business trip. He’s been gone since Wednesday afternoon and comes back around midnight tonight. Which means I’m on my own to pack for myself and 3 kids, clean house, get Jack situated, and prepare the family to be gone for a week. Whew.
I’ve been checking my list over and over again, making sure we have everything we need. Oh, did a mention I’m not going to be here until right before we leave tomorrow? Yeah. I have a women’s overnight retreat tonight, so I have to make sure everything is ready to go before 7 pm. We Windhams sure know how to make hectic even busier, huh?
I am so ready for the beach.
Mommies Need Friends Too
Posted on: August 16, 2012
- In: Life
- 3 Comments
It seems like from the moment you announce you’re pregnant, people start telling you the importance of socializing your kids. Personally, I don’t really like that term “socializing” because it reminds me of dog training. But, whatevs. You get flyers for Mommy and Me, Music Time, Reading Time, Play Gym Time, Get Your Toddler Outside So They Don’t Destroy The House Time. A mama’s days {and nights} can get completely consumed with kid time. But you know what? Mamas need friends too.
I have been extremely blessed that in both Iowa and Texas, I have lived in close proximity to women {mamas} that I really love. There are five sweet, sweet women all on my street who have become very dear to me. We try getting all the kids together {there are 13 between us all!} as often as schedules allow, but mama time PLUS kids isn’t really mama time. So what’s a mama to do to maintain her friendships?
1. Girls’ Night Out – GNOs are essential to my sanity. About once a month to every 6 weeks, the mamas on our block have a GNO. We usually schedule it for a weeknight {so as to not take away too much weekend family time}, and later in the evening {so as to either put kids to bed, or leave our hubbies with just bedtime duties}. Then it’s a night out on the town. Well, not really. We usually go to a favorite cafe or eatery for a late dinner and wine. I gotta be honest, it takes effort. Getting the kids settled, getting the hubby prepped for solo duty, getting all those women to the same place on time. Yeah, not easy. But it is always worth it. Always.
2. Buddy Up – Have a common interest? Ask your mama friend to buddy up with you. My friend, Adriane, is my workout/running buddy. Three to four times a week we either hit the road running, or the gym to lift weights. It gives us a good 30-60 minutes of one on one, no kids around, chatting. It’s great. Granted, a lot of it is winded talk {it’s surprisingly hard to keep a conversation going after 5 miles}, but we have had some really deep, really good conversations buddying up together.
3. Be Bold – I’m not a very quiet person. I’m loud and fairly opinionated. But, this might shock you, I am oddly shy. If I meet a mama at the park that I really like, I have a hard time asking for her number. Perhaps it’s the fear of rejection {though that’s never actually happened} or that it feels like some weird bar pick up “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe.” But, I’ve met some really great ladies through just being bold enough to say “let’s do this whole park with the kids thing again!”.
4. Incorporate Others – Along with the buddy up system, if you and your kids are heading to the park {or pool, or zoo, or wherever}, invite other mamas. It might not be quite the same having all the kids around, but it still helps build friendships and foster relationships.
What are ways that you maintain friendships {as a mom, as a full time worker, students, etc}? I’d love to hear any tips or tricks you’ve learned!
- In: Life
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Whew. Maybe I should don the moniker “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”.
But moving on, let’s talk about what’s been going on around these parts. Last week, the kids and I decided to go park hunting. What’s park hunting you ask? Well, that’s when you drive around town looking for the best park.
The idea was more fun than the execution. Before we even left our neighborhood, the girls lamented that they were starving. We pushed through with snacks and the promise of fun. The first park we found proved promising. But the 100* weather and rumbling stomachs started to get the better of us. We abandoned ship and went in search of food.
There was much rejoicing when we chose Homeslice Pizza. A favorite of mine, this was the girls’ first experience. They were amazed at being given a slice of pizza that was the size of their heads.
The trip to Homeslice proved to be a thousand times better than any park scene. Which further proves that my children take after me and enjoy good food to just about anything. And if that food is pizza? Even better.
While eating lunch, we spotted this ::
Oh you know, just some people walking their horses through Austin. Just another reason I think Austin is the coolest. Also? That restaurant in the background {Guero’s} has some pretty rockin’ good Mexican food. Just random information if you ever find yourself on South Congress.
We washed our pizza down with a sweetberry and Michael Jackson cupcake from Hey Cupcake!, winning me the Mom of the Year award.
All three kids passed out on our way home, transferred smoothly from the van to their beds, and we all took naps. Yeah, it was a good day.
A Wife Loved Like The Church 
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