A Wife Loved Like The Church

Mommies Need Friends Too

Posted on: August 16, 2012

It seems like from the moment you announce you’re pregnant, people start telling you the importance of socializing your kids. Personally, I don’t really like that term “socializing” because it reminds me of dog training. But, whatevs. You get flyers for Mommy and Me, Music Time, Reading Time, Play Gym Time, Get Your Toddler Outside So They Don’t Destroy The House Time. A mama’s days {and nights} can get completely consumed with kid time. But you know what? Mamas need friends too.

I have been extremely blessed that in both Iowa and Texas, I have lived in close proximity to women {mamas} that I really love. There are five sweet, sweet women all on my street who have become very dear to me. We try getting all the kids together {there are 13 between us all!} as often as schedules allow, but mama time PLUS kids isn’t really mama time. So what’s a mama to do to maintain her friendships?

1. Girls’ Night Out – GNOs are essential to my sanity. About once a month to every 6 weeks, the mamas on our block have a GNO. We usually schedule it for a weeknight {so as to not take away too much weekend family time}, and later in the evening {so as to either put kids to bed, or leave our hubbies with just bedtime duties}. Then it’s a night out on the town. Well, not really. We usually go to a favorite cafe or eatery for a late dinner and wine. I gotta be honest, it takes effort. Getting the kids settled, getting the hubby prepped for solo duty, getting all those women to the same place on time. Yeah, not easy. But it is always worth it. Always.

2. Buddy Up – Have a common interest? Ask your mama friend to buddy up with you. My friend, Adriane, is my workout/running buddy. Three to four times a week we either hit the road running, or the gym to lift weights. It gives us a good 30-60 minutes of one on one, no kids around, chatting. It’s great. Granted, a lot of it is winded talk {it’s surprisingly hard to keep a conversation going after 5 miles}, but we have had some really deep, really good conversations buddying up together.

3. Be Bold – I’m not a very quiet person. I’m loud and fairly opinionated. But, this might shock you, I am oddly shy. If I meet a mama at the park that I really like, I have a hard time asking for her number. Perhaps it’s the fear of rejection {though that’s never actually happened} or that it feels like some weird bar pick up “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe.” But, I’ve met some really great ladies through just being bold enough to say “let’s do this whole park with the kids thing again!”.

4. Incorporate Others – Along with the buddy up system, if you and your kids are heading to the park {or pool, or zoo, or wherever}, invite other mamas. It might not be quite the same having all the kids around, but it still helps build friendships and foster relationships.

What are ways that you maintain friendships {as a mom, as a full time worker, students, etc}? I’d love to hear any tips or tricks you’ve learned!


3 Responses to "Mommies Need Friends Too"

I totally agree! I started going to a local mom’s group at a yoga studio when Adam was 4 weeks old, and 2 1/2 years later, we still meet up weekly with these women and kids (12 moms in total). Many of us are now having our seconds and I am so thankful to have these women in my life. We also have a MNO once a month (mom’s night out) with each of us taking turns picking out a restaurant or activity (movie, pottery painting, etc).

My #1 advice to expecting moms is to find a local mom’s support group (hospitals, LLL, yoga studios, etc) and start setting up playdates.

One of the moms in the group made us all “mommy cards” – kind of like business cards with the mom’s email and cell number on it, so that we can easily exchange information with moms (or dads) that we meet in the park, kid classes, etc so that playdates or mom dates are easy to set up.

This is such a great post! When Archer was a newborn I enjoyed being part of a nonprofit group called PEPS (program for early parent support). The coolest thing about the group is all the moms had babies around the same age. Those of us that stay home still meet up a few times a month. I’m working on doing better at inviting people along and finding another mom I could run with.

I love this!! It’s hard sometimes to schedule that girls time, but oh so needed! I think scheduling GNO on a weeknight is the best idea…I rarely ever want to go out on the weekend because it means I’m missing family time which is very precious and doesn’t happen much during the week.

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