A Wife Loved Like The Church

Why You Can’t Be Anti-Gay and Christian

Posted on: July 25, 2012

If you get on facebook, twitter, or read any news, chances are high that you’ll come across that Chick-Fil-A is under fire for being anti-gay. Depending on which article you read, from which side you read it, you can get two very different stories. Chick-Fil-A is anti-gay or Chick-Fil-A is pro-marriage {which I believe is not an either/or}. Regardless of how you personally take it, I am struck with one thought :: Can you be anti-gay and Christian?

I’m going to stand up and say :: NO. No, you cannot be anti-gay and Christian.

In Mark 12:31, after telling the people that the greatest law is to love God with every ounce of their being, Jesus states : “The second Law is this ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No Law is greater than these.”

According to the dictionary, anti means “against; opposed to”. Now, to be anti-gay, means that you are opposed to a people group. A People.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

How can anti-people equal loving your neighbor?

If we are called, by our Savior, to love our neighbors {and to clarify, neighbor does not mean just our next door neighbor, but our fellow man}, how can we draw such a definitive line in the sand? How can we say, I follow after the teachings of Christ, BUT I am anti-people.

In my opinion, to be anti-gay is to close off your life, your heart and the opportunity to love a people group through the Gospel. You are choosing to see yourself as better than, more worthy than, more important than someone else. Be cautious. Because not one of us, no not one, is so right with God that we are better off than another person {Romans 3}.

To be so opposed to a people {not the practices of a people, but the people themselves} that we use the term anti, is to say that they are undeserving of Christ’s love, grace, mercy and sacrifice. Frankly, that is a position that I refuse to take against anyone. Ever. Because, no matter how depraved you think a person is, I can full out guarantee you, I am worse. I deserve nothing more than the full wrath of God, and I am in constant need of Christ’s redemption. Therefore, I cannot be against anyone, because I know that I am no better.

I am going to ask my fellow Christians – Where is your heart in this matter? Forget Chick-Fil-A, forget the heated news stories and latest debate {after all, it’s an election year, what else did we expect?}. Where does your heart stand on the matter of being anti-gay, anti-people? Are you willing to love your neighbor as yourself?


Based on some feed back from a few people, I feel I need to further express myself. My entire intent and meaning behind this post is to ask ourselves how we are treating other people. Especially people who’s beliefs and lives do not align with our own. We are all sinners in need of the redemption of Christ. If you desire to ask me more pointed questions, please feel free to contact me sarah dot windham at gmail dot com.


I got news from my cousin that there is a discussion going on on her facebook timeline from where she shared this post. Due to the security of her friends, I will not be linking the discussion, but have chosen two to share that I feel are more adequately say what I am wanting to say. ::

“A friend of mine can’t participate fully in this discussion but these are his thoughts:
Being anti-gay does not mean you are anti-people. You can love the person as Christ instructed, and yet hate the sinful lifestyle that they lead. Just because Christ loved and spent time with the prostitutes and the down and out, does not mean he approved of or condoned their sinful lifestyles. Rather, he tried to bring them out of their sin by showing them a better way to live their lives, and the truth of God’s love to follow.”

“I love all your opinions and thank you so much for sharing. My personal view is this: Being tempted is not a sin. Acting upon that temptation is. I have several friends that are gay and I do not condone their behavior but I do love them where they are and accept them regardless. Our God did not reject someone for their sin but he didn’t just sit idly by and twiddle his thumbs either. And we all have to understand that all of this is done in LOVE. Without love, the Bible says, we are a clanging gong or cymbal. No one will listen to you if you are judgmental and condemning. We cannot judge others by the standards of our faith if they don’t believe in them. They need to know the Lord first, and then we can look at them through the lens of scripture.”

33 Responses to "Why You Can’t Be Anti-Gay and Christian"

I knew I liked you! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Sarah – being anti-gay is not being anti-people. You are setting up a completely false dichotomy. I love people practicing the sin of homosexuality enough to tell them that their sin will condemn them before God if they do not repent and forsake their sin. I love people practicing the sin of homosexuality with the same love I exhibit towards people practicing the sins of drunkenness, sex outside of marriage, drug abuse, etc. Love warns and love helps people be set free. Jesus didn’t die to save us IN our sins, He died to save us FROM our sins (Romans 6:1-4)! Sin is a killer, a deceiver, and a destroyer. It’s not enough to show the kind of love that simply “coexists”. That’s actually false love. True love gives truth, even if it hurts. Here are some New Testament verses giving warning to those who love their sin, more than God: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (Paul even says, and such WERE some of you! They came out of their sin and loved God instead of their former sins), Romans 1:18-32 (This warning is serious – those who approve of homosexuality are under the same judgment as those who practice it), 2 Timothy 3:1-5

I know it’s unlikely that you will agree with me, since you’ve made your position clear in your blog post. But the truth of scripture stands on it’s own. Many people assume that they are following the truth of the Bible, without taking the entire Bible into consideration. They only focus on verses that support their position on an issue. But that’s textualism. It puts God in a convenient, socially acceptable box. It lulls people into a false comfort that God isn’t a judge, doesn’t hold us accountable for our actions, and takes away all Biblical fear of God our creator. To know Him is to love Him AND to fear Him, for He is truly awesome and a consuming fire. The same Jesus Who commanded us to love our neighbor, also gave the following warnings to those who don’t forsake their sins… John 5:14, Matthew 18 (whole chapter), Luke 12:1-5

In conclusion, I am not anti-people. I am anti-sin. I hate sin because it destroys. I hate sin because it flys in the face of a Holy God Who sent His only Son to set us free from sin. I hate sin because Jesus hated sin (Hebrews 1:8-9). I love people enough to tell them the truth and to try and help them see the light of God’s love that will set them free, give them a new heart, and cause them to walk in newness of life with Him.

P.S. I know most people’s first reaction to my post will be to ask me, “Who are you to judge? Are you without sin?” I am not without sin on my record. I have sinned in my past, to my own disgust and shame. Yes, I have sinned since committing my heart, soul, and life to Jesus Christ. And every act of sin was in direct rebellion to His command to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Because sin is always an act of selfishness. Today, I am using every fiber of my being to resist temptation and walk holy before God. Sin is not something I HAVE to yield to. Sin is a choice, and I choose God instead. I have repented of my former sins, and use every tool (reading my Bible, prayer, fellowship with other believers, etc.) God has given me to stay free from sin. IF I sin in the future, I (and every true believer) have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous (1 John 2:1-2) and if I repent of that sin, turn from it, and keep my feet on the narrow path, I will have forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness (1 John1:9). This is the same for all those who call upon His Name in humility, hatred for their past sins, and love for the God Who gave His all to set mankind free. Blessings…

Sarah, thank you for commenting and for expressing yourself. I have emailed you my response {not for fear of people reading it, but because I think it is far too detailed for the comment section of my blog}.

If anyone is interested in my response to Sarah, please let me know and I will gladly make it available for you to view.

Sarah- I would be interested in your response to Sarah P.

I am curious as to your response. And love the Blog Spot such insperation should cascade us all to be free enough to say whats on our hearts!

Sarah, I would also be interested in your response.

I’m feeling nosy. ๐Ÿ™‚ do you still have it to share?

AMEN. Thank you for this brave post and for sharing your heart and His truth. I agree wholeheartedly and am grateful that you’ve spoken up.

Being anti-gay is the last ‘freebie’ prejudice left. It’s still cheap and without cost. As with any bigotry, those who espouse it are on the wrong side of history.

No David, the only “freebie” prejudice left is on Christians and others who hold to principles which have served families and societies for thousands of years. The day will never come when I view homosexual activity as anything other than unsavory and stomach-turning. To equate the beauty of heterosexual love with “gay” sex, esp. male-on-male sex, takes a sledge hammer to what we instinctively know to be best for children.
I really don’t care what other people do, but I do resent it when it’s in my face in the media every day. “Gay pride” parades are sick events which disrespect children. If heteros ever marched and simulated sex in front of unsuspecting children, they’d be arrested, justifiably.
No woman could ever take the place of my dad, and no man could ever take the place of my mom. Humans are NOT interchangeable. I like many individual homosexuals, but that’s b’c they don’t push it in my face. If anyone believes that I am “homophobic” (whatever that means) or hateful for standing up for traditional values, tough. That’s YOUR problem, in YOUR head. It bears no correspondence to reality.

Hi RJ, we haven’t met and I don’t think I know you, but I appreciate you reading my blog. I’m not sure that your comments are just/unjust but I don’t think they reflect the topic I originally wrote about. The point of the post was not a justification for sin, but whether we are so prideful to think that we are better than another human being. I am challenging readers to exam how they view other people in light of what Jesus commanded of us – to love others as we love ourselves.

Please continue to read as you wish, but I will not likely accept your future comments when they don’t pertain to the original post.

I’d like to see your response too Sarah. I think I hear what you are saying in this post, but I’d like some clarification. I think there are perhaps some things you are purposefully not saying here, which there may be good reason for, but regardless, I’m interested to know more.

I love and appreciate you. Thank you for this post.

Please correct this: “Iโ€™m going to stand up and say :: NO. No, you cannot being anti-gay and Christian.”

Strike “being” and insert “be” — great article!

Ha! Thanks for the edit. ๐Ÿ™‚

Glad to help. Here is another: ” but have chosen two to share that I feel are more adequately say what I am wanting to say.”

Strike “are”.

The label “anti-gay” is a derogatory term used by those who judge other people as being oppressive or close-minded. To be against homosexuality is just the same to be against pedophilia, rape, sodomy, lying, murder, cheating, etc. Outside the bounds of the bounds of the Bible there is no means of recognizing what is good and what is bad. Everything is relative.

The Bible talks about how men ” abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men…(Romans 1:27).” The sin of homosexuality is the same as the sin of all the aforementioned sins. It is sin. Therefore, we should not be against the sinner (for we are no better), but against the sin.

We should always show love, but not love for sin. We should be opposed to homosexuality, but not opposed to the individual just as much as Jesus was against cheating, but not against the tax collectors.

Sarah, I feel like we are on the same page. LIke totally. I’ve been wrestling with this very thing for a while now and I am so glad you posted this. I’m such a sinner, I have need for the Grace (unmerited and unearned favor) from God and I feel like love is often the last arrow Christians reach for, when it should be the first. I love the last facbeook comment you reposted from your cousin’s page “without love we are a clanging gong” I would love to read your reply to Sarah P. It’s a touchy area to venture into, but I love your boldness.

True, we are ALL sinners in need of grace, but thanks to several decades of incessant propaganda, many Christians have seemed to accept the notion that the *tolerance* of sin is the greatest virtue. And as far as “judgmentalism” goes, Sarah herself labels those who oppose the radical homosexual agenda as “anti-gay”. How does SHE know what I or others think? The radical leftists will not stop until the *expression* of opposition to the gay agenda is a criminal offense, and Bible-believing churches are padlocked. They are already arresting pastors in Canada. Look at the absurd over-reaction to Chick-Fil-A!
There is a lot of hate out there, and most of it is on the LEFT.

This is a very brave post you have written. I love that you wrote it. What is frustrating me about the response in a few of these comments is that they are missing the point. You aren’t taking a stand for the act of homosexuality. You are asking people to look at the way they are treating homosexuals. Two totally different things.

I have a lot more to say about that but other people have said it better so I will leave it at that ๐Ÿ™‚

Hi Sarah, I’m your aunt Betsy Kelly. Mom (Lynda Leeson) has told me how sweet you were and how she loved to read your writing. This is the first piece that I’ve ever read and I want you to know that I fully agree with you. I think that it is absolutely great that you took this stand. Dealing with such issues, I always feel like “who, which one of us, will throw the first stone”-well, it could never ever be me. Thanks for the fresh reminder and the importance of loving my neighbor as I love myself. I would love to meet you. There are things that I would love to hear your input on. I really enjoyed this piece.

Great subject and very courageous in sharing it. I too see a conflict of interest in being anti-gay and Christian. It is one of the many incongruences in our world. Judgment , back-biting and hypocrisy are the things that should be kicked out of the Christian belief system; not just homosexuality, but rejection of people with tattoos and piercings, or any beliefs and practices that don’t coincide with ours!

In the Bible, GOD cleanses the people, cities, etc. of their plights or evils…Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah and the great flood. GOD judges and acts according to his judgments. He instructs us to love our neighbors as ourselves and teach by example. THAT is what GOD wants from us, not for us to ostrasize and punish others as we see fit!

After I read some of these blogs, it strikes me odd that so many people think of homosexuality as a temptation….a choice. The Bible instructs us to love our neighbor AND not to judge. If being gay is a tempatation or a bad choice, then that judgment should be passed at the proper time by God. I believe God looks at all of us through Jesus as the Bible says. Jesus is God’s ‘rose-colored glasses’, if you will. This is why we are told to come to God through his son Jesus Christ. If we come to God without Jesus as our ‘middle man’ then God sees all the ugliness and sin before the time of judgment. That gives us all a chance to find salvation BEFORE judgment day….otherwise, Judgment Day, as taught in the Bible need not exist because God would be judging and passing sentence every day. Carry your concerns to Jesus and let him turn them over to God on your behalf and use your energy to LOVE your neighbor, not HATE those who are different or follow a different path. Less preaching and more teaching (by example)!! Great blogs!

Turina – you keep referencing God’s coming judgment. You are right that only God can (and will) pass sentence on those who are guilty of breaking his law. Don’t you think it’s a good idea that we follow the words of the Bible and warn people to flee from the wrath to come through the path of repentance and cleansing in the blood of Jesus?

I don’t think that a true Christian would hate a homosexual. A true Christian realizes that they are no different than any other sinner. As to whether homosexuality is a sin or not consider a serial murderer. That person may feel that what he/she did was not wrong. That to kill was just as much a part of him/her as his/her hair color, height, etc. Such could be the said about liars, cheaters, adulterers, etc.

Although it is not explicitly stated in the Bible that homosexuality is wrong we must consider what is implied. Romans 1:27 explains how men abandoned natural relationships with unnatural ones. This dichotomy commands a judgment of what is good and what is bad. Genesis 19 talks about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah because of the sin of the inhabitants. Now we don’t know the full extent of the sin that occurred in these cities, but one is expressed. As the angels stayed in Lot’s home the men of the city wanted Lot to relinquish his guests so that they may have sexual relations with them. Clearly such sexual relationships is not good. One explicit command in Leviticus states that it is not good for a man to lie with another man.

The Israelites created problems when they incorporated sin into their lives by marrying into ungodly people that worship idols. As Christians, we need to continue to show love, but remove ourselves from those who embrace sin. We do not judge but embrace the judgment of God. It is not proper for a Christian to show contempt or bitterness towards homosexuals. But they should not embrace sinners into their lives as if everything is okay. Christ often ate with the sinners and tax collectors, but he did not embrace them completely. He called them to repent and to sin no more.

If we, being Christians, are taught to treat fellow Christians like pagans and tax collectors if they are not willing to repent of their sins (Matthew 18:15-17), then what should we do for those who are non-believers and live in sin? We are called to love as Christ loved us. This means that we are to show compassion and empathy towards those who are without Christ. Christ is the ultimate judge and will judge all of mankind. We, as the chosen people of God, must not allow ourselves to become a part of it. Churches that openly embrace homosexuals have lost sight of God and his commandments.

I’m not a Christian radio, soap-box standing, Bible verse on the shirt, overly outspoken Christian. I understand that people have choices in life (and yes, I believe that homosexuality is a choice) and they can either look at the reality of the words of God and accept them or deny them. We can’t take one verse and leave out all the rest. Either you take it all in or leave it all behind. I hope God will help you in your search for truth.

Thank you for taking the time to write this. It was a blessing to read. ๐Ÿ™‚

Bravo, Sarah! I agree with you wholeheartedly. Funny, I thought what you wrote really couldn’t be argued with, after all you weren’t advocating a political position (pro or anti gay marriage or adoption by gays or gays in the military) just Love Thy Neighbor–and yet still people found a way to disagree (and to judge). I’m a strong believer in “judge not lest ye be judged” and “let those who are without sin, cast the first stone.” Those are the words I live by. Thanks for starting this brave discussion!

I have no stones to throw, simply a lifeline. It is repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Sinners must grab hold of Him and be set free.

I do agree that we should, as Christians ‘teach by example’ as Jesus did. Live our lives as ‘Christlike’ as we can; but judgment and being ANTI (fill in the blank) any lifestyle is not loving thy neighbor as we are instructed biblically. Teaching, witnessing, sharing God’s teaching is absolutely the way to go….but this can all be done without passing judgment. I have enjoyed everybody’s candid replies and convictions to their belief systems.

Also, through prayer we can ask God to show us and teach us how HE wants us to witness to homosexuals without judgment. When people feel they are being judged, they walk away and the message gets lost or falls on deaf ears. Invite them to your church or Sunday School, or share some books that might help share the message. Above all, Love thy neighbor as yourself. God will help us handle the rest according to his will. Unconditional love of thy neighbor is a bitter pill sometimes…as a fairly heavily tattoo’d and pierced person I am judged daily. I have been a critical care nurse for 20 years, been nominated Nurse of the Year by my co-workers including other nurses, managers, doctors and other ancillary services at a prestigious University Hospital. People who have taken time to really get to know me, usually like me and know they can rely on me. They see me as a loving, compassionate woman and not a ‘freak’ as some of my neighbors have. I have responded far better when God’s message is delivered as one of unconditional love and not one of condemnation-an attack. I want to emulate the behavior of those who show unconditional love, even while sharing some uncomfortable, controversial subjects. But that is just me. You are all very wise and I have learned a lot here. Thank you all for sharing!

I am not Christian, but this was a great post to read. Thanks for your honesty and sharing your thoughts.

Interesting post (my first time to your blog).
I think what you said- “We cannot judge others by the standards of our faith if they donโ€™t believe in them.” is the truest thing!
I was brought up in a very relaxed Christian church-one that does ordain gay Ministers- and truth be told, I don’t know what I believe in anymore— but I find a lot of people who profess to being a Christian aren’t ones at all- demonstrated by their treatment of others who do not believe what they do. That is why your statement hit me.
There are a lot of blogs out there that talk of Christianity and what is believed and I think it amazes me the most that Christianity is/has become so diverse. Every Christian group says they are the ‘right’ one and the one that are the true followers of Jesus. This is what I find interesting in the argument about any type of sin, lifestyle or any religious talk.
Thanks for the post. It was extremely interesting.
I do NOT believe in any way that being gay is a choice

Sarah, I would also be interested in your response to Sarah P.

[…] see, about six months ago I wrote a post that is very dear to me. It caused some outrage and it caused some good discussion. Both of which I am totally ok with. […]

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