A Wife Loved Like The Church

I Am Who I Am.

Posted on: January 14, 2013

Funny how you can find yourself shying away from who you truly are sometimes.

I told all y’all {yes, I did just type all y’all} in September that life was too busy to blog. That was true. But there is more to it than that.

You see, about six months ago I wrote a post that is very dear to me. It caused some outrage and it caused some good discussion. Both of which I am totally ok with. What I didn’t realize {or rather didn’t want to admit to myself} was that with some of the backlash came a shying away. I didn’t want to write for fear of it causing another riot. And while I am not one to back down from my beliefs, I am also not one to keep arguing just to argue.

It felt good to walk away from blogging. To defriend some Facebook “friends”. To take a break. However, I’ve wanted to write again for a few weeks now. Yet, I keep getting gun shy, keep worrying about riots. I went so far as to make an alias blog. But what good is an alias, when what I really want is for people to know me?

Who am I?

I’m a girl who loves spontaneity, but can’t live without structure.

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I love my Savior beyond words. But I’m not always great at acting out my Christian faith.

Learning more about Christ brings me to my knees. Knowing how depraved I am without Him makes me need Him even more. The closer I grow to God, the bigger He gets. That might seem terrifying, but it brings me comfort more than anything else.

I talk too much. Yet I don’t always speak up when I should.

I start arguments when I don’t feel accepted and loved.

I’ve fought dirty before. It’s not a good thing.

I married up. I am so happy for that.

I work for two princesses.

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Before kids I never knew what it meant to love people so deeply beyond myself.

I do now.

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I like beer. Shiner, specifically.

And red wine.

I drink often. But not excessively.

Running is a passion.

Then again, so is eating. Which is why running happens.

I screw up. A lot sometimes.

Other days I’m a freakin’ super hero.

I love music, but frankly don’t care for live music. You can call me weird for that one.

I day dream too much.

I try to act cooler than I really am. Which probably makes me less cool than I really am.

I’m more like a librarian that laughs at her own nonsensical jokes.

I am who I am. Yet I will change. I will mess up. I will offend. I will repair. But, I am staying put. I’m not shying away. This is who I am.

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12 Responses to "I Am Who I Am."

I love this!

Thank you, Becky! I hope Russia was fantastic!

Again, your post hits home and is so good in so so many ways! I love that you’re not shying away.

Thanks Jodi! Here’s to 2013 being my not shying away year! 🙂

And I like you!:)

Aww! I like you too, Casey!

Thanks for sharing yourself Sarah, I like you when you’re bold and thoughtful and witty and angry and everything. I’m glad you might be writing again if there is time for it, I’ve missed you here BUT totally respect your need for a break and space. Keep up the good bold work friend God will protect you!

Thanks Katie. Knowing I have your support has been such a huge part of why I started blogging again. Thanks for always encouraging me with your kind words!

You’re BACK!!! I have totally missed you, my friend! And Joseph…Holy Cow, he’s gotten so big and ADORABLE!! 🙂

Thanks Rosann! It’s good to be back. 🙂 And I know, Joseph has gotten so big! I can’t believe it!!

I am glad you’re back. Real post. Real Christianity. I crave it. Always. Keep writing and God Bless!

I, too, have missed your blog! But, I also totally get everything you are saying. I think I would be the same way. I shy away from controversial topics on social media just because even though I might feel a certain way, people will just jump on and fight over things, and like you said, it gets ugly and just becomes for the sake of argument. I like that you are raw and honest, because that’s a lot that this world is missing these days, even in the church. Especially in the church. I think if we were more raw and honest, we could “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” a little better. Instead of feeling like a failure because we aren’t keeping up with the Joneses. Well, I could go on, but I just wanted to say that I’m glad you are back to blogging, and I’m glad you are honest!!

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