A Wife Loved Like The Church

Hello Motherhood! Goodbye Sanity!

Posted on: December 4, 2007

As I am sure everyone knows, Jonathan and I had our daughter, Julia Mabel, on Friday, November 23. She weighed 8 lbs, .03 oz. She is a beautiful, precious, adorable gift from our loving heavenly Father. I can’t even begin to express my joy when I hold her, feed her, love on her. I have no doubt that she will continue to be a joy and delight in my life forever.

Now, a little about her birth: (FYI, this might be TMI)

Jonathan, my mom, my brother John, and I went shopping around 6 am on the 23rd. We hung out at the Coral Ridge Mall till about 9 or so, and then came back home. I planned on resting for a little while but decided to do a little house cleaning first. About half way through vacuuming, I felt a leakage. Deep down I knew it had to be my water or something like it, but wasn’t totally convinced. Then around 10:30 I started having some bad cramping, like what I’d get with a period. They weren’t coming to close, but I asked my mom what she thought. She said, “Well, sweetie, I think you’re in labor”. So, we called Jonathan (who was still out shopping) and told him he’d better plan on heading back soon.

By noon my contractions were coming about 5-10 minutes apart and lasting about 30-45 seconds. Jonathan and I took a walk around our cul de sac before deciding it best to leave for the hospital. By 1:30 we checked in to Labor and Delivery. Now, forgive me, but this is the part where things get a little fuzzy for me. I was put in a triage room and the nurse hooked me up to two monitors; one for my contractions and one for Julia’s heartbeat. The on call doctor checked me and found that I was 5-6 centimeters dialated and 50-60% effaced. I was monitored for about 30 minutes before I asked to walk around, as I’m not one to be okay with being confined to a bed. Jonathan helped me waddle down the hall, met up with my family and take a 20 minute walk before I decided that I was 1) too sleepy to keep going; 2) in even more pain since the contractions were coming even sooner.

We made it back to the triage room just to find out that in the 1 1/2 hours that I had been there, I’d already gone to 7-8 centimeters dialated. And this, this my friends is when the pain kicked in.

Before I left the triage room, the urge to push had already started. Then to top it off, the water that I had been sucking down came back up (way gross). I moved over to a delivery room and this is where my story ends. No, honestly, I really don’t remember a whole lot more. But I can piece some things together for you:

1. My doctor, who was in Burlington showed up.

2. The urge to push was growing. And so was the pain.

3. The urge to push was still growing. And so was the pain.

4. At some point I asked to go to the bathroom. Jonathan helped me along, when the urge to push hit. Ok, so look, when you want to push and you aren’t allowed to, yeah, that’s the hard part of labor. So, here I am, sitting on the pot, needing to push, not being allowed to push, just wanting to push. That’s when Jonathan stepped up to the plate. He squatted down, and said “Sarah, do you know why you can’t push? If you push, you will cause damage to yourself. You will tear and be in more pain than you are now. So, you need to obey. You have to obey. You cannot push until we tell you.”

5. Back in the bed, still wanting to push. Now, I start asking for some drugs. Anything. I really don’t care. And again, Jonathan steps up. He just keeps repeating. “You can do this.” And then when I’d want to push, he’d keep repeating “Sarah, you have to obey”.

6. I think at some point I actually blacked out. I say this only because I remember “coming to” and not realizing where I was. And then I had a contraction. And then I remembered.

7. My mom. I love my mom. Before I went into labor I wasn’t convinced I wanted my mom to be there with me. I have issues with modesty, and frankly birth isn’t very modest, so it seemed weird to me to have her there. But at some point you just stop caring. And really, my mom was amazing. Did I mention that she’s had 6 kids and was a Labor and Delivery nurse for 20 odd years? Well, yeah, needless to say, she was a God send. She really helped me to know what was coming next and what to expect. She reminded me to breathe. She got me to start focusing on Jonathan instead of closing my eyes the whole time. I’m not sure I paid too much attention to everything she said at the time, but I couldn’t have made it through without her.

8. The doctor, or someone, gave the okay to push. Holy Smokes. This is the best part of labor. All this time you can’t do much other than breathe and not push. But now, now you can actually do something productive.

9. Julia Mabel is born!! There lots of other things that happened between the “you can push” and Julia actually arriving, but perhaps that’s too much for people. All I know is at one point I became very good at yoga.

10. Grace. Selflessness. Humility. God is going to be teaching me a lot. It’s true what they say, God gives us children to shape our character, not just theirs. I’ve really been struggling for the last 10 days. But, you know what, God has really provided. Now, I need to just let Him keep providing, keep leading. I have way more questions than answers. I feel really lost with this whole motherhood thing. I cry a lot. But I think this is good. It breaks me. It makes me rely on God, on my husband and my friends. I’m not one to ask for help, yet I think that will change. I like perfection. I like routine. I like having things in place, on time and smooth. God’s got something big in store. And I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be routine, in place, on time or smooth. However, it will be His will for my family, for my life, and that’s what is most important.

**If at any time you want to toss up some prayers for us that would be great.**

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10 Responses to "Hello Motherhood! Goodbye Sanity!"

You were amazing!! I have attended literally thousands of births in my career, delivered hundreds of babies myself and been at the side of my daughter or daughter-in-laws for 4 of the 5 grandchildren and it was at the birth of this child I wept. Your devotion to being the best mom to Julia is an inspiration to me. I have witnessed your sleepless nights and your exhaustion and still your compassion and love shines through. I am in awe of what a wonderful child I have and what an amazing woman you have become. Thank you for gifting me with this divine experience. We all love you and we pray for you continually.

Momma

WOW! What a journey! Thanks for sharing your experiance. You really did an amazing job! You brought a new life into the world! WOW! Ill be praying for you in this time of transition!

Thanks for sharing your story Sarah! I hope today is a good day. Have you gotten to change 5 diapers in the span of 20 minutes yet? 😉 Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I thought about coming to visit you to see if you needed anything, but then I realized I probably wouldn’t be much of a blessing with a wild 3 year old running around your home and another baby crying! If you ever need a change of environment, but still a safe place for feeding, feel free to come over anytime (or if you want to brave us coming over let me know)! Praying for you sister.

Julia is such a pretty baby. I am way impressed that you did it with no painkillers. Also, it’s pretty hard to tell a birth story without a little bit of TMI. 🙂

Any special requests for your meal next week? I will cook and/or purchase anything you crave!

-Alicia S.

Sarah, congratulations to you and Johnathan. I had known that you were most likely going to deliver near Thanksgiving. Wow! I had no idea that things went as quickly and as smoothly as they did, as I haven’t spoken with your mom in a few weeks. I am so thrilled to know that your life has been blessed with a healthy, beautiful little girl. I literally wept while reading this entry from you. I have tears streaming down my face because I am so happy that your mom was able to witness the birth and be the support that she was for you. And the line that started the waterworks for me was when your loving husband stepped in to coach you. Obey. Incredible story and thanks so much for sharing it.

Great job Mama Sarah! Thank you too for writing it all out! And, I totally agree with your #8! May the Lord continue to bless and keep you all!

[…] in November 2007, total chaos came into my life in the form of my sweet (although some times trying) Julia. Quickly […]

[…] Julia Mabel – Born in November 2007, and I really had no clue what to expect from labor. Which might have been a good thing. […]

YAY! You did such an awesome job. I enjoyed reading this. 😀

[…] Julia Mabel – Born November 2007. My first labor and ironically my shortest… […]

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