In my heart of hearts, God had been asking me for months to be okay with “letting go” of our anniversary trip to Paris. Through all the planning and saving, I safe guarded my heart from putting my hope in a Parisian trip. Know what? We aren’t going. Instead we started planning for a different trip; Ireland. Guess what? We aren’t going there either. So we planned to go to Toronto. Guess what? {Oh you guessed it!} We aren’t going.

Slowly all of our plans fell apart. One night, while nearly in tears, I told Jonathan, “I don’t really care where we go, so long as it’s just you and me.” As each new plan failed I was losing hope of ever getting time away with Jon. Then Tuesday night, something “major” happened. Julia knocked off my wedding bouquet from on top of my dresser. The delicate flowers I had painstakingly preserved for nearly 5 years were shattered. Thankfully {for her} I was 1) in total shock that is happened, 2) Jonathan was coming home in minutes. As he walked in the door I literally ran out it.

As I was running through our neighborhood I wondered, “Why do I care so much about those roses? I’m not a sentimental person in that way. What’s so upsetting about those roses?”. And it hit me. My wedding bouquet is a reminder of that life. The life before kids. The life of just Sarah and Jon. The life where we could afford to visit Paris. Where our only daily concerns were what to eat for dinner. Where it was just us. The life that seems better.

By the time I got home, I wasn’t ready to go back inside, so decided to mow the lawn. As I reached the backyard, Julia came running outside yelling “Mama!” She was thrilled beyond words to see me {even though I’d been gone less than 30 minutes}. She jumped up and down and waved to me simply beaming.

And it hit me. This life is better. Not the before-kids life. Not the jet setting life. This messy, poop-filled, lack of sleep life is better. Jon and I would not be who we are without the Windhamettes. Our relationship would not be what it is without them. Those roses were gone the moment I found out I was pregnant. They were replaced with less glamourous cloth diapers and sippy cups. And while I deeply cherish my time with Jon, I think it’s only been made sweeter and more precious because of the Windhamettes.

So now, as we have finally settled on a weekend trip and have loving people caring for our girls {Thanks Abdos!!} we are thrilled to be getting time away, time alone. Not because we want what we had, but to make what we have even better.