A Wife Loved Like The Church

Julia Mabel

Posted on: November 23, 2008

One year ago today I set out on a life changing course. I became the mother to a wonderful, beautiful daughter. Our first months together were rocky, actually, that might be an understatement. I had no clue how to feed, clean, change or care for this tiny life that expected everything from me. Then there was the crying. Endless crying. I mean, I can’t totally blame a person for being upset when they have gas, especially when they have never actually used their internal organs. But still, crying babies aren’t fun. I don’t care who you are, they just aren’t. It’s a proven fact. And to top that off, if you’ve read any post on my blog you are all too familiar with our anti-sleep rules. Technically, they aren’t Jonathan and mine’s, but Julia’s. So, roll together complete ignorance, complete dependance, raging hormones and emotions and you will get a new mother.

I can remember thinking that everyone around me seemed to “get it”. All the other moms seemed to have their lives together, knowing beyond a doubt what each cry meant, what each grunt would or would not lead to. I felt like I had stepped into a final totally unprepared, with a sense of utter failure.

But God is good. Oh so good.

One year has past. I will never say that I am a perfect mom, but I will say that I am the best mom for Julia. I can read her almost better than I can myself. I know when she is tired, hungry, angry, happy, or frustrated. I understand her “signs” for more, food, and all done. I know that certain situations will delight her, while others upset her past consolation. I have become her mom.

Through this past year, learning who Julia is has not been my biggest feat. More than that, has been learning who God is through me. I am continually humbled and amazed at who God is, who He has called me to be, and how that relationship reflects on my parenting.

I always thought it silly when people said that God wants to be in control of every area of your life, every area of your parenting. But I have come to learn that it is so true. I can tell when I am in control and when the Holy Spirit is in control. I know the difference between Sarah-led Parenting and God-led Parenting. And in those moments I realize that there is no way I can make it without God. There is no way that I can produce a kingdom building, God loving, selfless daughter unless I am that way. And I can’t be that way unless I center absolutely everything on Christ. Funny how that circle works.

My life is blessed. My daughter is a blessing beyond what I could imagine. She has been a true delight this past year and I am looking forward to many, many more.

In celebration today, we will be having poppyseed chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and chocolate cake. This is my birthday dinner each year and I am passing it along to Julia. 🙂

4 Responses to "Julia Mabel"

Happy birthday beautiful girl! What, no mushroom chicken or coconut cake? Poppa Lance loves you Julia Mabel.

Aww…You just made me cry friend.

Thank you so much for being so open and honest with the struggles you’ve had in this phase of life. I’m so excited to see God continue to teach you and grow you through your family.

I really love you. 🙂

thought about you guys yesterday! hope you had a great day!

Was searching your blog for a poppyseed chicken recipe and came across this sweet beyond words letter that spoke truth to my discouraged, angry, frustrated heart. I am momma to Archer and Penny for a reason. I think another reason times are hard now is I know when Archer is feeling upset or overwhelmed but I can’t always help him right there so we’re both learning a little about independence. I also love that you said God-led vs. Sarah-led. I just need to take deep breaths and let god lead. Thanks for sharing your heart now and always!

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