A Wife Loved Like The Church

Posts Tagged ‘Weight Gain

I’m writing this post at o’too early in the morning because I’m struggling to sleep. It’s been a long week, I’m emotionally and physically exhausted, and yet wide awake. Something is amiss.

In the quiet of the night, I am pouring my heart out to God and coming to the realization about something:

My body does not dictate who I am.

Friends, in some true honesty, I’m going to lay my heart out to you. I’ve realized that perhaps part of my funky state this week has been due to a spike in weight. Sure, sure, I’m pregnant and all that jazz and I know that weight gain, a change in my body, will happen. It’s done it twice, it’ll do it again. But as I round the second half of this pregnancy, I step on that scale and see those numbers, that in my mind are too much to bear, I crumble. Literally, I crumble. It’s a weight, not just physical, but mental and emotional. It’s months of half marathon training wasted. It’s months of calorie counting, sweets-denying, hard working-out wasted. Logically {oh to be logical}, it’s okay. In fact, it’s where I started with both girls and I’m halfway through this time. But, that logical state of mind is too far to be found. In it’s place is that petrified, self-conscious girl who can’t quite make the in crowd because her body just isn’t the same as the pretty girls. And I am left feeling lonely and out of place.

But my body does not dictate who I am.

I am a child of God. I am loved by a King who died for me. I am chosen, hand-picked, created by an amazing Lord who designed me in such a way that brings Him the most glory. I have been given a chance to bring three beautiful creations to life. To grow them, to care for them, to nurture them, to love them, to show them just a glimpse of our awesome Savior.

So, no, my body does not dictate who I am.

He does. His truth. His love. His faithfulness. His goodness. His mercy. His grace. Just Him.

These are my dictators. These are the attributes that dictate, determine, who I am. Not a physical appearance. Not the acceptance of others. Just Him. Just His physical wounds for me. Just His acceptance of me. He is my dictator.

God dictates who I am.

And allowing myself to understand this truth, not just logically, but emotionally in my tired little heart, brings me joy and a rest that is much needed.


What’s your Friday Joy? How’s God revealing Himself to you? 

I’m 16 weeks, and things are trucking right along. I’ve started to feel Baby Three move. Not often, but if I’m really relaxed or just had some coffee {like this morning}, then there’s definitely some action going on.

The belly is growing, that much is true! It’s looking a little less odd to me, and I’m slowly getting over the fact that the scale keeps creeping up {partly because it’s doing it slowly, and partly because I feel like I really have some control this time around}. Though, I am going to Tennessee and Chicago all next week/weekend, so we’ll see how I do around lots of yummy foods. I’m just having to remind myself that weight gain in pregnancy is what I’m going for and stop worrying so much.

What are y’alls Friday joy? Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

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