Yesterday, in a moment that was a grand fall from grace, I sinned against Julia. I won’t go into the details, because really, who wants to ever re-live sin? Let’s just say, my sin was ugly and shameful. What was even worse, was that even in the moment, I knew I was sinning and choose to do it any way. My thought process went like this: “If she didn’t do {insert two year old behavior} then I wouldn’t have done {insert sin}.”

Later that afternoon I realized I blame a lot of other people for my sin. I do a fabulous job of if-they-hadn’t-done-that-I-wouldn’t-have-done-that. It’s their fault I sinned.

Wrong.

I choose to sin. And yesterday, I knowingly choose to sin. Against my daughter. I can’t even begin to tell you what amount of disgrace and shame I felt. When I started realizing just how much I blame others {and awfully, but truthfully, my children} for my sin and bad behavior, I couldn’t help but begging for forgiveness. Forgiveness from Julia. Forgiveness from my Father.

I sin, because I choose to sin. Not because someone sins against me.

God forgives me, because He chooses to forgive me. Not because I deserve to be forgiven.

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