A Wife Loved Like The Church

Failure

Posted on: July 9, 2009

I’m failing.

I have always set high standards for myself. I expect a lot and want to be the best at everything. But, I will say that I am successfully getting my butt kicked by having two children. So much so, that my mom is coming back to Iowa for a few days.

Failure.

In the last four weeks, Julia has watched a shameful amount of tv.

Failure.

My disciplining is sporadic at best.

Failure.

Hannah has slept in our bed far more than Julia ever did. And I don’t see it stopping right away.

Failure.

My house looks like a tornado came through it. All day. Every day.

Failure.

I have not been the most grace giving, love showing mama.

Failure.

But God’s grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness.

Success.

God’s grace has saved me.

Success.

God still loves me. Even though my house is a mess, my oldest has watched too much tv, my youngest relies on a pacifier, my stress level is high, my emotions are on the fritz and even as an adult, I am having to call my mom to come rescue me.

Success.

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

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6 Responses to "Failure"

Praying for you! Congrats on Hannah! 🙂 I Just found your blog through Jamie’s. Julia will not be ruined by this short amount of TV. It will get better! I CANNOT believe you are doing cloth pads though. You rock!!!

Hang in there. It does get easier! That’s what Mamas are for, I’m sure she won’t mind!

Sarah, you are not failing, you are just being a mom. Graham often watches too much TV, my house is a disaster most of the time, and I have to remind myself almost all day everyday that I will miss this stage at some point 🙂 But as for right now, I count down the minutes until daddy comes home as most days I am completely ready to pull my hair out by then and I only have one kid! Hang in there, Julia knows you love her even when you are frusterated. I’ve been thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers! Hopefully we can either get together or maybe I can take Julia off your hands for an afternoon soon.
Take care,
Kate

Reading your words is like reading my life…you do just a beautiful job at describing it ;). Praise God you know who you are in Christ so that you can battle Satan. Seriously…it’s wonderful to know that another sister in Christ is having the same emotions/experiences as me.

I don’t think you are failing, but thanks for sharing how things are going so I don’t feel like I am the only one struggling.

I agree with the ladies above. To see that you and Jonathan are gracefully handling have a second child gives me that much more faith in my own home. Thank you.

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