Since Julia was born, I’ve been getting more and more anxious about her fully grasping her “heritage”. We’re mastering the Hispanic side (thanks to Grandma), but I’ve found that the tried and true Southerner side will mostly likely only come from me. Not good.

See, I spent a majority of my high school and college years running away from my roots. Honestly, there never seemed to be much use in holding on to them, until I moved to Iowa and had a baby. Now, I want desperately for Julia, Dubya Dos and any other Windham babies to just “get” it. I know of some things that will come naturally for me to pass on: saying ma’am and sir; calling coke, coke, none of this pop stuff; enjoying a good glass of tea; knowing how to make a mean batch of fried chicken; and understanding where the Mason-Dixon line clearly cuts off.

I googled different “Southern” phrases for a laugh. Although, I am thoroughly convinced these are used everywhere, not just in the South. Let me know if you’ve actually heard and used them, as I know for sure I have:

Like a chicken with your head cut off

Snowball’s chance in h*ll 

Argue with a fence post

Rode hard and put up wet

Short end of the stick

Ruffled her feathers (I actually say this way more than I realized!)

Chewin’ the fat

I declare (said like “Well, I declare!”, when something is shocking or a surprise)

Bump on a log

Bitten’ off more than you can chew

Barking up the wrong tree

Like water off a ducks back

And here are some of my favorite stereotypes:

A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. 

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines … And when we’re in line, we talk to everybody! 

In the South, y’all is singular …. All y’all is plural. 

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 

All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’. 

But, truth be told, there are a few things about the South that I will gladly leave behind and never, ever teach my children. And that’s the great thing about being a Southerner in Iowa. I get to pick and choose what Julia and Dubya Dos learns about all things Southern. 

*When I was in college, a guy I knew used this as a pick-up line on me. He wasn’t actually meaning it (or if he was I never knew!), but he said it every time he saw me.