A Wife Loved Like The Church

Motherhood is a fine line between chaos and, well, chaos

Posted on: May 11, 2010

I once heard it said that the proof of a good mother was a dirty/messy house. Let me just say, I so don’t believe that. Being a hyper-OCD person, messy and I just don’t mix. I think it’s an important life lesson to teach your children how to clean and be clean. In my mind, dirtiness usually equals laziness – not a characteristic trait I want for Julia or Hannah. However, I’ll admit that since having Hannah I’ve realized that good mothers usually don’t have perfect houses. And here’s why:

Kids don’t care about messes.

Mabel and Hannah couldn’t care less about a dirty kitchen or toys all over the living room. What they care about is being loved and having my attention.

And truth be know, if this

Produces this

And this

I’m okay with a little mess. But, I still think it’s vital to teaching my children how to clean.

5 Responses to "Motherhood is a fine line between chaos and, well, chaos"

It’s good to have a balance. Coming from someone who’s more messy, I don’t think messiness necessarily equals laziness. I feel like I’m always cleaning, but it’s just not in my nature to be organized or to have a good flow with how I’m doing things. I think I tend to be more absentminded and move on from one project to the next quickly, so I don’t always think about cleaning up from what I was previously working on until I realize that i have a serious mess on my hands. And to be honest, some mess doesn’t bother me. Serious messes do, but when it’s a little I don’t see it. So it’s good to teach discipline to our kids, but I also think that we are not all built to be neat freaks.

I’m like Alicia–naturally messy. Putting things away when I’m done with them doesn’t often happen because I’m on to the next thing on my list. However, I am a little bit OCD, I see the little messes, and they drive me crazy. I also feel like I’m always cleaning…I’ve spent the first four years of my marriage trying to conquer my messy habits. I want to be able to have good, balanced habits to teach my kids.

I totally agree on the balance thing. I’m not really balanced – always wanting everything perfectly clean. But reality is, that’s never gonna happen. And with kids, it really shouldn’t be my goal. On any given day, my house looks like two little tasmanian devils live here. But for me, if my house STAYS messy it’s because I personally am being totally lazy. Which, by the way, happens. A lot. 😉

I am with you, Sarah- the second crumbs hit the floor, I am making a mental plan on when to vacuum (I really struggle with double letters- took me 3 tries to get vacuum). Anyway- I am TRYING to let go of this and just soak in the kids while they’re home…actually, this lady just did a great post on Mother’s Day about losing her mom at 16 and how her own kids will remember her: http://bigbinder.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/boy-normal/

I have found that if you have a certain time of day that you throw in laundry, do dishes, and clean up toys and vacuum, then I feel less stressed about the mess because the cleanup has become part of my routine. I was kinda drowning in my mess at the beginning when I first began staying home. But, after developing a routine, the mess isn’t as intimidating any more. Throw in laundry first thing in the morning, wash dishes after lunch during naptime, fold laundry. After the children get up you can have them help you pick up toys and then vaccuum. Those are the everyday must dos. Occasionally picking up toys and vacuuming have to wait.

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