I confessed this truth to Jonathan the other night.

I grew up hearing about Jesus’ miracles, he’s teaches, he’s death for me. I love it, am overwhelmed by my sin and His grace. But, I usually never read through the Gospels. I tend to stick to Paul’s writing or Psalms. I went so far as to tell Jonathan I’ve thought of Paul’s writing as being “more meaty”.

I say all this because – God’s awesome. About a week ago, I decided I was going to start reading the Gospels. Why? Because I want to know Jesus, understand Jesus, His life, His works, His love for me. On the second day of my reading I thought “I’ve read this a hundred times before, it’s so boring.” Thankfully, I wasn’t struck by lightening. But in that moment, I realized my sin.

Mark 4:10-12 says: “When he (Jesus*) was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that, ” ‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’”

I’ve been seeing but not perceiving. I’ve been hearing but not understanding. In the still of the morning I repented. I confessed that I had placed my entertainment, my enjoyment, my personal fulfillment over God. I assumed that having read it before, having heard it a thousand times, God couldn’t possibly use it. I couldn’t be more wrong.

Mark 5 tells the story of a woman with a blood condition. Now, according to the Word, she had been bleeding (much like her monthly cycle) continuously for years. Jewish law would have declared her unclean, and therefore unable to be fully part of society. Jesus was visiting her village and crowds were surrounding Him. This woman knew, she knew, that if she merely touched His robe she would be healed. She did and she was.

I’ve read this story countless times. I’ve heard pastors speak about it, I’ve read other people’s thoughts on it. Nothing new could possible arise. Wrong. Even in the midst of my sin, my doubt, my pride, God called aloud to me. He pointed to me and said “Sarah, I love you. I love you.”

You see, the woman was unclean. And she touched Jesus – who is the only true Clean. This very act would have made Jesus ceremoniously unclean. But it didn’t it. It didn’t even upset Him. In fact, when the woman told Him that she had touched Him, He said “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” (Mark 5:34). Daughter. Not unclean woman. Not sinner. He didn’t yell. He didn’t tell her to go away. No. He called her Daughter.

I am unclean. I am a sinner. But I’ve touched Jesus’ robe. I’ve been made well. I can go in peace. My suffering is over.