Yesterday, while preparing lunch, Hannah fell backward off the countertop. It happened right in front of me, less than 6 inches away. She was in her Bumbo seat, laughing, kicking her feet, then next thing I knew, she was falling. And the world stopped.

I don’t know exactly what she hit as it was on the other side from where I was standing, but thank God (a million times over), she seems just fine. Right after the fall she screamed bloody murder. Once I picked her up, consoled her, she went back to normal pretty fast.

Want to know something?

I was scared out of my mind.

There, I’ve said it.

I’ve known too many people that have been hurt, heard too many stories of pain and anguish, to not know that bad things happen to good people. Right after she fell, I prayed. Hard. Then I called my mom, who is a nurse. She suggested I watch her and then even take her to the doctor just to make sure all is well. Then I called Jonathan. By now, all my emotions are boiling over and I was barely able to tell him what happened through my tears. He was most reassuring and told me just to relax and keep an eye on her.

I fed the girls lunch and then we had quite time. During that time I read 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.” I mulled over that first part “For God has not given us a spirit of fear…For God has not given us a spirit of fear…For God has not given us a spirit of fear…For God has not given us a spirit of fear…”

I’ve come to this one conclusion:

God is good. God is good. God is good.

It is out of my power to know how best He should display His goodness. But, I know this: HE IS GOOD. Whether in pain or pleasure, He is good. My world would never be the same without Hannah. It is heartbreaking to see a child endure pain and suffering. I can’t help but imagine the heartbreak and pain God endured when He saw His Son die. But, He is good. He had a “plan from the beginning of time – to show us his grace through Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 1:9b) and with that plan He saved me.

God is good.

** The above picture was #139 in the queue. It reminded me of Psalm 139.

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:16