A Wife Loved Like The Church

I am not a girlie-girl

Posted on: May 29, 2009

Let me state that again, I am NOT a girlie-girl. By nature I have never been a dress-wearing, make-up doing, hair-fixing, bug-screaming girl. I feel most myself in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, sportin’ some dirt and ready to jump in a creek to look for crawdaddies. I was most likely, every cheerleaders worst nightmare. From as early as I can remember, I hated taking showers, wearing anything I found to be confining (aka, dresses, skirts, anything white or pink) or being girlie in any way. Then, growing up with four brothers, a mom who isn’t very girlie-girl just intensified my lack of girlieness. 

Somewhere in high school I started paying more attention to my appearance. I found myself *shock!* looking at dresses and “cute” shoes willingly. I remember buying my first dress (one that I had personally picked out). I felt grown up. And the funniest thing is, I could count on one hand how many times I actually wore it. By the time I got to college I had “arrived”. I started wearing more feminine outfits, mostly because I worked at Ann Taylor. I started actively doing my hair daily, wearing make up and shopping for jewelry. I found myself surrounded by girls who loved being feminine and girlie. Slowly I began transforming into a pink wearing, necklace owning, perfume loving girl. 

Then I had a baby. And for months I’m pretty certain I never did my hair, wore make up or even changed out of sweatpants. I most definitely didn’t shower daily (TMI). Then as the post-baby haze lifted I went back to doing my hair, putting on make up and showering (almost) daily. During all this time I realized that I had a daughter. Which meant (and means) that she will imitate me, desire to be like me (in some form or fashion). So, in an effort to give her a fighting chance of being a girlie-girl I shower her with pink, dolls and dresses. In recent months I’ve even started “doing” her hair. 

Want to know what I’ve discovered? It’s tough being a non-natural girlie-girl trying to help your daughter be a girlie-girl. I hate “doing” her hair – it’s time consuming and results in very little reward (as it takes me half and hour to pull back and 2 seconds for her to rip out). I really hate putting her in a dress – it seems so confining; she can’t actively climb or slide or crawl around being crazy. I really, really hate remembering to put her shoes on her before we leave the house. That last one is in part to the fact that I really, really hate wearing shoes. But, alas, I do all these (in my mind) girlie-girl things, because somewhere deep down inside me, I kinda wish I had had the chance to embrace that side of myself as a kid. Not in some I-like-wearing-lacey-dresses-and-bows sorta way, but in a I-like-wearing-a-cute-dress-so-long-as-I-have-shorts-on-underneath sorta way. And I do plan to open up dance, ballet and even *gasp!* cheerleading to Julia if she wants. 

However, I draw a fine line at screaming at bugs. If she learns to do that, she most definitely won’t be getting it from me.

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