A Wife Loved Like The Church

Not crazy, just pregnant

Posted on: January 28, 2009

Nearly 4 years ago, while at work, I found out that my grandfather passed away. I hid away in my boss’s office for a while till I could clear away my tears. As I was packing up to leave, my co-worker came in, gave me a big hug and started crying. I remember thinking “Wow, I think she’s more upset than me. This lady is crazy.” She was pregnant at the time.

Here’s how it is – I can get to be an emotional wreck when preggo. Just today, I was on the phone with Jonathan, crying for no good reason. Well, really, there was a reason, something like split milk, or dust accumulating on the ceiling fans, or the like. But really, no good reason at all. And all I could think was “Dude, Sarah, you are crazy.” Then I realized, I’m not crazy, just pregnant. Even if at times the two seem pretty similar.

So here’s my open confession (because for whatever reason it makes far more sense to bare my soul this way than individually):

I hate talking to people when I feel vulnerable. Like, when I’m crying for no good reason. It makes me feel really, really stupid. But, at the same time I know it’s something I need to do. I need other people to help me out when I’m down, even if it’s a split milk kinda down. I did a horrid job after Julia was born about reaching out to people and telling them just how much things were sucking. And I want to be more open and honest this time.  So, if you get some random phone call from me, where you can barely hear me, or all I do is cry, just try to remember, I’m not crazy, just pregnant.

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4 Responses to "Not crazy, just pregnant"

Call me anytime friend! 🙂

I love you and your honesty more than you know. You are truly amazing! I hope that you can keep relying on your friends and loved ones to keep reminding you that Gods grace is over you. Sometimes, it can be hard to understand where your coming from especially with emotions are running all over the place, but I will do my best to stay calm and let God lead. You are a blessing to me each and every day of my life.

The sentence “I’m sorry honey, it’s not you, I’m just pregnant,” said with tears was a very frequent thing in all of my pregnancies. And it was generally said after something like spilled milk or missing shoes or whatnot, and I always felt awkward doing it. I would love to spontaneously cry with you sometime, just call!

I too, as a Sarah, who uses the word ‘dude’ (far too often!!!) – I definitely can empathize w/ your “Dude, Sarah, you are crazy” comment. Too funny. and a little sad sometimes! lol

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