A Wife Loved Like The Church

Baby NOT on board

Posted on: March 14, 2007

I came across this book by Jennifer Shawne about a year ago. I flipped through it and it proved good for a few laughs. I think what I found most humorous was the “nicknames” she gives to children, such as yard ape and poop factory. While I do want to have children at some point in my life, I still thought it could be fun to list out some of the great reasons for still being child-free. (Disclaimer: For all you parents, this isn’t meant to poke fun at you or your delightful children, just a reason to remind myself why it’s pretty awesome to not have kids, just yet).

10. My car windows are sticker free.

9. My house stays clean. And if it doesn’t, it’s only my own fault.

8. It only takes me 15 seconds or less to get into my car.

7. I can sleep all night long.

6. When I’m around my friends, they ask about me.

5. If I bake a batch of cookies, I don’t have to share them with anyone. 🙂

4. I can stay out super late and never worry about putting anyone, other than myself, to bed.

3. I can go on trips with my husband and not miss a soul.

2. I can safely go down my stairs.

1. I can honestly say I have never been thrown up on, burped on, pooped on, peed on, and for that reason, I generally smelly pretty good and my clothes stay cleaner.

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4 Responses to "Baby NOT on board"

Being a fellow still childless woman, I enjoyed this list 🙂 When I first saw the title of this post I thought maybe you were trying to dispel some rumor going around that you were expecting or something!

That’s funny that you thought I might be dispelling a rumor. Somebody actually asked if I was prego because of a shirt I wore one. I just laughed and said, “I’ll never wear that one again!”

oh no! That’s exactly why I never ask women if they are pregnant. That’s awful! I have a sweater that I really like, but it’s a hoodie type and has a front pocket which totally makes it look like I have a little pregnant pouch. I haven’t been able to wear it since Mike and I got married! 🙂

OK, so I don’t know if you’ll even look at this at this point since this post is pretty ole. BUT, no that you have kids and I still don’t, I have to say this list is still rockin’ it… LOL Now that Jeremy and I have been married for 3 years, we’re getting the baby question quite a bit more frequently. I love giving people this dumbfounded and fairly dejected look on their face when I tell them it’s not even on my radar. I know we will someday but today is not that day! Thanks for the laugh. I hope it doesn’t freak you out that I’ve been reading every old post from start to finish… LOL SP

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